There’s a Wellness Challenge I’m following at the New York Times. It’s about “Friendship.” I don’t think I’m a terrific friend. I am loyal, but I wonder how much time and effort I devote to developing relationships. Truthfully, I grew up with my younger sister as my best friend and despite time, distance, and differences, that remains true. Luckily I’ve also become close with my older sister in the last decades—something I would’ve declared an impossibility in my twenties. Since I’ve returned to Oregon, I’ve also reconnected with my sister-in-love. I say that honestly about my older brother’s wife. While she has a boatload of friends and hardly needs me to climb aboard, I’m standing firmly on deck; she knows how to weather storms! Sweet Serendipity in Sisterhood.
Yesterday I discovered I’m a firefly friend, according to the survey attached to this challenge that I completed. Do you know what that means? Here’s what the analysis says about us fireflies: “Imagine a firefly flitting through the air on a warm summer night, glowing brightly in the company of its fellow bugs, then receding mysteriously into the dark night sky. Fireflies like you limit how many social engagements they have in any week or month, but light up when they feel deeply connected to others.”
It also owns that fireflies recharge with solitude; that is me in a nutshell! No matter how much I love you, if I need time out and away, I’ll take it! What it also recommends is that I keep interactions more casual, that interactions don’t always have to be intense. (I think I do that pretty well, actually…Maybe friendship styles aren’t easily categorized?!)
Day 1 of the challenge tasked participants with texting a friend. In her encouraging anecdote, the writer recounted how a bad day was saved by a text that came unexpectedly from a friend with whom she connects periodically—out of the blue? not quite—but it did lift her blues.
I realized I hadn’t texted a couple of close friends who are on the other side of the country for awhile. I did so, and I’m not sure how they felt, but I’m hoping they got some of the boost from me that I got from them. So simple, such fun.
Tomorrow I should be “repotting” a friendship, taking someone I know and enjoy in a specific context and branching out, doing something different with them. I’ll have to think about this one a bit. I have done this before, but it asks more of me than a text. I’ll keep you posted.
If you are interested in the challenge, or might want to take the quiz just for fun, check it out here. Life has so many challenges though. Maybe friendship shouldn’t be one of them. What do you think?
Jump off; Find Wings 
I’m a “firefly” as well!! Hugs!
This is YOU: “Since I’ve returned to Oregon, I’ve also reconnected with my sister-in-love. I say that honestly about my older brother’s wife. While she has a boatload of friends and hardly needs me to climb aboard, I’m standing firmly on deck; she knows how to weather storms! “
Your plan to “repot” friendships by trying new activities is intriguing. Maintaining relationships can be an ongoing effort, but as you note, friendship needn’t always feel challenging. Meaningful connections often develop organically.
Oooo – Trish – I like this. I need a friendship reboot! I’m going to check it out. Thanks!
Like most things that matter, I sometimes need to be reminded.
I haven’t taken the quiz yet. However, based on what you wrote, that describes me as well. I enjoy being with friends, but my alone time is important to me.
Trish, what a fun Friendship Wellness Challenge you are taking. All the best with challenging yourself! So sweet to hear about your special and growing relationships with your older sister and your sister-in-love. So dear! (Is that baby still waiting?)
Yes, the baby is taking his sweet time. I just couldn’t write about it again to be honest. Maybe next week?
I think you’re fine. So fine.
I can also relate to being a firefly friend. Friendships are one thing I’d like to get better at.